Time is relative…

There are a number of people who will be leaving our school for one reason or another… some are retiring, some are on their way to a new school, and some have been promoted to new administrative positions. I did not say goodbye to any of them, because I just don’t believe in goodbyes… I prefer to just say, see ya later, because I know that I will.

Even when the kids were leaving school for summer break, I couldn’t help but say to them, “Hey, it’s just a short break and we’ll be right back here, so… see ya then.” So please don’t think that I do not care, or that I’m callous and unfeeling.

I know it might be a while, but soon I’ll see each and every one of you again.. whether it be next school year, or on a trip to Admin during the school year, or maybe even tomorrow in Walmart.. We’ll both be around and see each other soon.

Time is relative; its only worth depends upon what we do as it is passing.

Albert Einstein

School’s out.. my facebook posts

Jun 02, 2016 8:09pm

It was wonderful watching my teachers come back to the world of fun, laughter and light-hearted bliss as the school year ended with minimal scarring. As they put the final boxes into corners, organized school records in preparation for next year, and turned in their keys, one could hear the cheers and screams of happy women when the last bell rang. Don’t believe for a minute that they are on vacation, though… training classes are right around the corner for most of them.. and a variety of certifications and refreshers.. and some were already talking about their plans for next year… and surprisingly, some of the conversations included actually COMING BACK! A few are thinking of taking bartender jobs down in Port A, and there was brief talk of becoming a dog trainer. I’m thinking they’ll get some rest and after a few glasses of wine and too much sun, they’ll forget the days of children barfing on their sacred rugs of colored squares, and being told by short people that they hate them (then hug them 15 minutes later), and the networking problems that threaten to ruin their lesson plans… and even the occasional parent who thinks that giving a teacher a scentsy candle is the answer to all of the chaos their sweet little angel inflicted over the last 9 months. They’ll all return refreshed and optimistic in just a few short months… and deep down, they know that if they don’t love these little turkeys… who will? Here’s to a restful summer break….

_________

Last day of “official” school.. early release… then 1 staff day.. my cafeteria partner and I shamelessly did the “happy dance” at the end of our last lunch duty for the year. This will be my last breakfast duty for the year… please, please… no syrup!

I’m a survivor!

2 full days, 1 half day and then 1 staff day. Then we are officially on summer break! If I can make it, I will be able to say that I have survived my first year of elementary education … besides my own, that is…. I didn’t think I’d survive then either.

It’s official… new job on the horizon

OK.. so part of me wants to see my new job as a promotion because I’ve impressed the boss, but part of me KNOWS she just wants to get me away from the children asap. Either way, I will be working in the office next school year as the Attendance Clerk and I’m excited about it. At first I was apprehensive… you know… all of that ADULT contact and such… but I decided that there were a lot of PLUSES to the move:

–Less likelihood of catching another horrendous, multi-month, lung-scarring, influenza-rivaling COLD like I had this year if I get behind the glass wall.

–Oh, and less chance of lice too…

–And kids don’t want to come to the office… it usually means they are in trouble… so they’ll stay away.

And as I type this I wonder, what the heck am I doing at a school in the first place?? I mean REALLY. To hear me talk, I eat children for dinner after baking them in my big oven in my gingerbread house.

Anyway- I plan to do my best to not drive the secretary too crazy, and I am really looking forward to turning on the speaker and listening to my teachers yell at their kids without them knowing… and then telling them to put in their attendance PRONTO..

My biggest fear is that I will inadvertently hit the PANIC button and cause the entire police department to swarm the school. Come to think of it… would that really be a BAD thing? Young handsome men in uniforms.. with guns… hmmm… oh… heh heh.. sorry….

Too bad.. so sad…

My son’s story…

SON: When I was a kid, I hardly EVER got a PAWS ticket. They’d give one to the kid sitting next to me and say, “Here you go Timmy. Thanks for not stabbing anyone with your scissors today. YOU get a PAWS ticket!” … and I got nothing…

I told him that his error was in NOT stabbing anyone. If he would have STABBED someone, the teachers would have recognized him, worked hard to improve his behavior and he would have been an all-star by the end of the year. He doesn’t appreciate my humor.

I don’t even know some of the really quiet (“good”) kids’ names, but I can tell you everything there is to know about the ones that stay in trouble or struggle with a subject, etc…. I’m a little ashamed of that. I plan to work on improving that next year.

I did tell my son that sometimes flying under the radar is not such a bad thing.

Please don’t send him any PAWS tickets… that would just be enabling him. please. please.

This stuff works!

So I’ve been reading books.. (DANGER DANGER! I’m reading BOOKS!!) … to help me try to understand these dog gone kids we work with every day… and today I used some of the stuff that I’m learning.

In some cases I had no success, then some marginal success, and then a couple of knock-em-out-of-the-ballpark successes. I was so proud of myself, I stretched my arm out, patting myself on my own back. I tried to impress my children with the story, but they just gave me a condescending look and accused me of manipulating children for my own personal gain. Unbeknownst to them, I’ve been doing that to THEM for YEARS….Some day they’ll recognize it … probably when they start manipulating their own children.

At one point today, I was walking down the hall, and there were at least 2 kids from each 2nd grade class waiting for me on a bench outside of their respective classrooms.

A couple were waiting for review time for a test, some others were ready to take a test, one was close to blowing a gasket because of another kid who was still raising you-know-what in the classroom, and then another was a “bathroom buddy” who was desperately trying to get his cohort to “get off the pot” … and the bathroom-kid was laying down across the toilet — asleep. As I stepped into view, they all locked their eyes on me and began the shrill call of the wild 8 year olds…. “MS BROCK! MS BROCK! MSSSS BBRRRROOOOOOOKKKKKK!!”

It was too late to turn and run.. and I felt like a mother robin with 8 babies and only 1 worm. Thankfully, the counselor took on the troubled children, I put off the testers for a few minutes while I completed reviews for the other two.. and sleeping beauty (who wasn’t sleeping– we all know that, right?) heeded my threats to call the custodian, who would open his stall door and expose him to the world if he didn’t come out posthaste.

The day only got better… but I’ll save that for another entry…..

Friends are not food

My… my… my…. once bitten twice shy… our new 2nd grade theme song. Just three weeks left and we’re revisiting the old adage.. “friends don’t eat friends”. OK, maybe that’s not an old adage.. but I’m thinking it should be.

Logic

LITTLE GIRL: (runs off down the hall ahead of me)

ME: (name withheld) I need you to come back and walk with me.

LITTLE GIRL: (looks back, grinning, and keeps running)

ME: (I stop, turn around and walk back a few steps and out of sight, leaving her “alone” in the hall)

LITTLE GIRL: (runs after me crying) WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?

ME: I didn’t leave you… you left me, so I decided to go back to class.

LITTLE GIRL: You left ME! You are so mean!

ME: Oh, so when you leave me, it’s OK, but if I leave you, I’m mean. Is that how it works?

LITTLE GIRL: (still crying) Yeah!

Well, at least we got that straight….

I’m in awe… and in trouble

We had a substitute working cafeteria duty with me today (retired teacher – substitute extraordinaire). I think she should be in our cafeteria every single morning… she doesn’t take any nonsense off of anyone!

If someone talked, she moved them 100 ft away from any other human being. It didn’t take long to clear the room. She even separated me and and the custodian. I have detention on Monday…